The Quest For Approval


WE WILL NEVER change our life for the better, until we become fully aware that there’s part of our mindset that seeks approval. To alleviate this innate feeling we are surreptitiously waiting for compliments, assurances, proof that we are loved and worthy, that we are part of the family, the group.

We are invariably alert for people to give us something, maybe a compliment, a warm smile, to say something friendly to or about us and that gives us a feeling of satisfaction. Searching for self satisfaction is short lived though, it’s like a cup with a hole in it, it can never be filled… so our quest is never ending.

Our unquenchable hunger, our eagerness for people to say and do things that gives us praise and approval is endless. And then of course, there’s the fear that the opposite will happen and people will say or do things that we don’t like, including when someone doesn’t return a smile or maybe shake our hand when offered.

All the gold in the world, all the friends in the world, can do nothing for our inner state, of our want to be loved and needed. All the answers that we have read or been given are useless, while people we meet continue to pile the nonsense into our head saying, do this, do that, we know what’s best for you.

To become consciously aware that we are always hoping for people to compliment us in some way is the beginning of change. Eventually we’ll begin to sense, vaguely at first, that nothing any other human being can give us or say to us can ever take away that inner ache for approval.

The answer to changing your life for the better is quiet observation of yourself as you go about your day and to have the courage to admit that you ‘do’ seek approval from others. True freedom will come when you have the power within you to not allow someone’s mere words or actions to affect you, one way or the other…

Dan’s Quote: “How can you be TRULY free if someone else can affect your emotional state
_____________simply by saying or doing something to you that you do or don’t like?”

 Header: The Glass House Mountains Sunshine Coast hinterland Queensland, Australia.

About Dan Brand

Blog writer and author of Mind WorX-An Inside Story, a philosophical look into life's mysteries.

Posted on February 4, 2019, in Our Quest For Self Awareness and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Beautiful. Once we accept, realise and work on not seeking approval then we fly free, otherwise we are trapped and never happy. I am not that our ego should grow. But humble self respect should grow that we are quietly internally strong.

    Beautiful post and blog. You share wonderful thought provoking post. Thank you.

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