Loving Demands


WE ALL WANT TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. It’s a lifelong search for most of us. But is what we are searching for really love? What happens if we fall in love with someone and they reject our love, or dare to love another? Do we continue to love them or can our love turn into hate?

We are taught from an early age to love our country, to die for it if necessary. Religion tells us to love God and if we do we will be rewarded with eternal life, if we don’t, we are threatened with eternal damnation.

What we normally think of as love demands a payment. ‘If you will love me, then I will love you, I will be true to you, I will compromise myself for you. But if you don’t love me, I will hold back my love until you come to your senses.’

We imagine our love as being unconditional, whereas in reality it’s conditional, for we expect something in return….Their love. But what if they don’t love us back? What then? Does our unconditional love for them continue on regardless?… As it unconditionally should!

“Intense love does not measure, it just gives.”~ Mother Teresa

When we say ‘I love you’ what we are really saying is ‘I want the pleasure of you.’ We are fearful of losing that so called love for then we would feel unworthy, lonely and suffer heartache and loss.  To want to hold onto someone and expect a return is not love at all, but pleasure and ownership masquerading as love.

The closest we come to unconditional love is the love we have for our children. Eventually though, as they grow up, we tend to place conditions on that love too. ‘Behave the way I think you should and I will continue to love you unconditionally.’ Do something I don’t think is good and I won’t love you unconditionally quite as much!’

True Love is unconditional, timeless and free. To be aware that what we call love is really only our need for pleasure, gratification and ownership is an important step in our lessons in life…

Dan’s Quote: “Love can never make any demands whatsoever and still be called love.”


Inspiration for this post came from The Passionate Mind by Joel Kramer.

Header picture: The majesticUluru, Central Australia.
Rising from seemingly nowhere in the deep centre of Australia, Uluru (Ayers Rock) is a large sandstone rock formation which is one of the world’s great natural wonders.

About Dan Brand

Blog writer and author of Mind WorX-An Inside Story, a philosophical look into life's mysteries.

Posted on December 2, 2016, in Our Quest For Self Awareness and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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