The Amiable Reaper 15
JUST A GLIMPSE
FOLLOWING my ‘Out of body experience’ that I wrote about in ‘A Personal Journey’ my perspective on life has changed forever. I have experienced two previous events (although not the same as the last) where out of the blue, I suddenly glimpsed an amazingly beautiful world that was completely different to the world I was so used to seeing, but in neither case was my awareness separated from my body.
Rather, the world instantly changed ‘out there’ right in front of my eyes to one of indescribable beauty. It was like an opaque curtain had been lifted from my eyes allowing me a glimpse of the real world for the first time. Both occasions lasted only a short period of time before my perspective narrowed back to the norm. I have always regretted the fact that it was my fear that caused me to lose sight of this grand vision.
Fear had consumed me in a pall of panic, preventing this pristine, unagitated vision of the world from continuing. Why? I was in unfamiliar territory. Unconditional love for everything and everyone, including myself, suddenly became an overpowering, omnipotent force that I simply could not bear. It was too much; unfortunately, I just wasn’t brave enough to withstand the intensity of it.
Especially, I could not for a moment accept the fact that I, the little me with all my many faults and commonness, was worthy of such potent love, so I backed off in panic, cowering like a mongrel dog.
The vision quickly faded in the face of my perceived unworthiness and self doubt, I was once again abruptly aware of the familiar everyday world that I was so inured to. I knew I had missed out on something very special but no matter what I tried, no matter how much I relaxed and meditated, I couldn’t get that world back.
My earnest plea to life that next time I would be able to summon enough courage to accept and withstand the love that was offered me has been to no avail. I was back in the unglamorous, workaday world to stay… for this lifetime anyway… although I still live with the vague hope that I will be given another chance someday.
Then, in the hospital ward, I was given a different glimpse of reality that was also out of this world, this time I was separated from my body. What did it all mean?…
Dan’s Quote: “Have faith that God is living out a divine plan through you.
______________You are an indispensible contributor to that plan.”