Mind WorX – Losing
AS with ‘Winning,’ ‘Losing’ is also just a word in the dictionary. We cannot lose any-thing. Things are of the physical world and thus are ever changing and yet we all fear the loss of our treasured possessions, our loved ones, our financial and personal security, but most of all we fear the loss of ourselves – the human body and the name we know ourselves as.
We may lead a mundane, boring life and yet we fear losing it, we may have a nagging, drunken or overbearing partner and our kids may be uncontrollable but we fear the loss of any of them. Put in a nutshell, we fear the loss of the familiar. The unfamiliar is scary and unknown and yet in reality, every new moment is unknown.
What we really fear losing is the memories of all those familiar ‘things’ whether people or possessions. All materials things exist only in the now moment, ever fresh and new, if needed they may or may not appear in the next now moment for that is just what is.
All physical things are finite, therefore they are transient. They age, they deteriorate, they rust, they corrode, they perish and they die. It is impossible for them to be here forever. They are here to be enjoyed in the moment they are here and then let go of mentally.
Our fear of loss stems from the fact that we tend to cling onto some-thing in a particular now moment, especially if we regard it as a precious part of us by naming it and creating an image of it then sticking it in the egos library of the past, then we continue to automatically add the now moments of that particular ‘nice thing’ to the stored images.
So in reality, we are clinging onto a memory of those possessions and people, not to what they are now. In fact, because we are so obsessed with clinging onto their memories, we never see them as they are now.
By fearing the loss of things which include emotions – especially negative emotions – we fear the loss of our beliefs, the questioning against our judgments of what we believe life and other people are like. If our beliefs are challenged, rather than losing them for a new and maybe better belief, we retaliate with anger and reprisal.
Everyone knows that each moment ends, that’s logical thinking but even then, we still hope that no really wonderful experience ends – that we will never lose it. This is a contradiction in terms, yet we still engage in this wishing.
We hope that we will never lose our perfect relationship – that it will never end, or lose that perfect job – that it will never end – or that we will never lose our particular and present happiness – that it will never end …. But it always does.
There is only the now moment, everything else is just a memory of now moments. All things, including ourselves are created a-new every moment. They and we are not the same as they or we were a moment ago.
We simply create what we want now. We have no need to hang onto it, if we need it – we create it a-new in the moment that is now. To understand and reap the benefits of a free and happy life, we need to do this consciously instead of unconsciously.
If one’s happiness is tied to present and particular circumstances, like our possessions and our body, one’s happiness is always and forever in jeopardy. Yet if one’s happiness rides the tide of what is now and indeed, creates them as needed, then one has discovered and embraced the recipe for a joyful life.
It is the very fact that each moment is like a snowflake, breathtakingly beautiful, awesomely perfect in its design, absolutely individual and unlike any other, that makes it so remarkable and acceptable for what it is, and we can never lose that…
Note: Inspiration for this chapter comes from the writings of Neale Donald Walsch.
Dan’s Quote: “Regardless of what we may believe, we can never lose our essential self.”