Mind WorX – Forgiveness
WHEN we begin to consciously watch the way our mind works, especially the way we react to people and events in our daily lives, we discover one of the keys to the successful evolution of mind. We see that if we are not consciously aware of the way we are reacting to life’s many challenges, then we have no hope of changing inadequate reactions for the better?
Our mind is full of beliefs and judgments that we are completely unaware of. We are like robots most of the time – unconsciously sieving our daily life through a veil of contaminated opinions from the past and then making an assumption on what we believe life is like – which is always wrong.
This means of course, that we are not seeing life as it is, but only our perception of life viewed through a curtain of prejudices. One of the egos many nasty traits that need to be raised up to our conscious awareness is our tendency towards un-forgiveness.
In our caveman days it was just not possible or advisable to forgive anyone, (man or beast) that maybe stole food, shelter or our women or men, for that could be disastrous to the future of our clan. We needed to remember and not forgive them, so as to guard against them doing it again.
Un-forgiveness is a relic of those early days that, although no longer needed, we still unconsciously hang onto.
You may not believe that you are an unforgiving person, but by using impartial self observation, by standing aside and watching your thoughts and how you automatically react to incidents in everyday life and your resulting judgments, you will be shocked to find that that is not so.
If we look closely at our inner thoughts, we will find heaps of incidences of un-forgiveness. For example maybe, personal experiences with what we would class as the lower life – criminals, drug addicts, pedophiles, rapist, obnoxious and arrogant people etc. All are unconsciously judged by us and duly deemed forgiven or not.
For anyone to pass our judgment as being worthy of our forgiveness, including ourselves, they have to firstly face the barrage of beliefs and prejudices in our ego dominated mind. Not only are strangers threatened with our sentence of un-forgiveness, our close family and loved ones are just as susceptible.
No? What happens when a loved one does something to or against us that we believe is bad. Maybe a loved one makes derogatory remarks against us? They hurt us, cheat on us or leave us for someone else? Or our child or relative disappoints us by committing a heinous crime and is sent to jail?
How many people are there in our past that we once liked or even loved – that at some time or other did or said something against our touchy nature and we now judge them and their actions as being unforgivable?
We might say, “So what, that happens a lot in everyday life, especially with the ones close to us, but time heals all and their misdemeanor is soon forgotten and they are forgiven.” But can we forgive one day and not the next?
Or is it more a fact that even the ones we forgive are only on probation – one wrong utterance or action that goes against what we believe is right will put them back in purgatory again, until they act in a way that we deem acceptable?
The one person that we find hardest to forgive is ourselves. We are secretly guilty of a myriad of imaginary sins that we believe we have committed, that are kept hidden away in the very private reaches of our mind. Some we cannot even admit to ourselves, even with impartial self observation.
Thoughts so terrible that we believe it would be devastating to us if they were made public. They could be sexual thoughts about others that we believe we shouldn’t have – thoughts of anger, murder, hate etc that we believe is wrong. Probably the worst sin that we all privately suffer from and find hardest to forgive is masturbation.
Yet the truth is that all those thoughts are not exclusive to one person, we all think those same thoughts, for in reality – there are no private thoughts – we are all part of the one collective intelligence.
To become consciously aware of those taboo thoughts and then to forgive ourselves is more important than forgiving anyone else. We need to forgive ourselves first before we can forgive others.
Whether we forgive or not is not really the problem so much as the unawareness that we are unforgiving. Un-forgiveness is a cancer that spreads its tentacles in the unconscious darkness of our mind. We cannot cure that disease if we are not even aware that we have it
Un-forgiveness cannot exist in a conscious mind – there is only unconditional acceptance of what is. There is no need to do anything. The conscious seeing is the cure to all our mental ills.
Dan’s Quote: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds….
_____________on the heel that has crushed it. Mark Twain