Mind WorX – Love
ORDINARILY we think of love as a necessity that we can’t live without – a commodity to get hold of, to keep and not lose. Everybody seeks love and we have many ideas about what love means. We are told to love our country, to kill or be killed if deemed necessary – (eliminating a lot of young people in the process.)
Religion tells us to love God and if we do, we will be rewarded, if we don’t, we are threatened with damnation. We fall in love with someone – if they do the same, well and good – if they don’t and dare to look at or love another person, we become jealous. Love can then turn to its opposite – hate.
What we think of as love demands a payment. ‘If you will love me, I will give you my company, sex, I will compromise for you and so forth. If you don’t, I will withhold my love until you come to your senses.’ That’s how we usually understand love.
Love can never make any demands whatsoever and still be called love. When I say I love you, what I am really interested in is my pleasure, my experience, my intensity, myself. Love has no opposite. To want, hold or keep anything and expect a return is not love at all, but pleasure masquerading as love.
And pleasure is a very dicey feeling to have. You must be on your toes all the time, for if you are not vigilant, you may lose it at any moment and then you will suffer the opposites such as heartache and loss.
There are labels that describe different types of love. One is ‘unconditional love.’ That is what you are told you should feel for someone special. But is that true? Or are we being deluded? When you feel unconditional love for someone, if you look closely at yourself, you will see that you do expect something in return – There love!
If the other person has reciprocal love for you – whacko, but what if they don’t? What if they remain unmoved by your dedication? What if they still do not love you – instead they spurn your advances? What then? Does your unconditional love for them continue on regardless?
Unconditional love is really of the ego and is just one of the many tags that have been placed on an image stored in its library of the past. When someone enters our life that we are extremely attracted to, (and that means we want something from them) the ego immediately shuffles through its library and digs up its images of ‘love’ and thinks to itself, ‘Wow, that person fits the bill and as such, deserves my love, so I will give it to them.’ (At a price)
When we feel love for someone, and that love is not returned, the ego is of two minds. One – it feels its love rebuked and is miffed, but in another sense, it feels superior, it believes it is better than the person upon whom we are showering our affection. ‘I am so good, I am capable of fully loving you, but you are not as good, because you are incapable of returning that love.’ Love can then easily turn to spite
Even when two people ‘supposedly’ unconditionally love each other, their collective ego usually steps in with the thought, ‘We are better than that couple down the road. See how they are not as loving towards each other as we are. Ah yes, we have a much better relationship than them.’ This then becomes a matter of pride.
The closest we come to unconditional love here on earth, is our love for our offspring, especially when they are young. Eventually though, as they grow up and into adulthood, we tend to place certain conditions on that love. Behave the way I think you should and I will continue to love you unconditionally. Do something I don’t think is good and I won’t unconditionally love you quite as much!
All of this ‘love business’ is just another game that the ego is playing. The love that we experience here on earth is really pleasure in disguise. ‘I get pleasure out of that person and if I say I love them, the prospect of getting even more pleasure is increased.’ This type of love is conditional and so is not love at all, but pleasure.
True Love is unconditional and timeless. Love is eternal. Love is forever. It can only exist in the now moment – not in time. Love is another word for God – for ‘You’ (Your true self). There is no difference. You are Love. You are God experiencing a life journey here on earth that in the true sense – is loveless. It has been replaced by pleasure.
This is quite Ok – that is the way it is supposed to be – there is a purpose to it all. We need to do this so as to experience the opposites and the substitutes to love, so as to be able to fully appreciate our eternal existence as unbounded, limitless Love – forever – which is who you really are…..
Dan’s Quote: “Intense love does not measure, it just gives.” – Mother Teresa